Comments on: The Custody Battle: What to Expect http://filefordivorceonline.com/the-custody-battle-what-to-expect/ your source for the best, most accurate, and up-to-date information on filling for divorce. Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:53:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: John http://filefordivorceonline.com/the-custody-battle-what-to-expect/comment-page-1/#comment-113 John Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:23:17 +0000 http://filefordivorceonline.com/?p=26#comment-113 This past Friday evening, I received an 'Abuse Prevention Order'. Our house was empty, my wife had picked up the kids at school and taken them with her. The police came, gave me the 'order', and told me I had to gather a bag, put some personal items into it, and leave the premises immediately. Also, not to go within 100 yards of the house or her workplace. Furthermore, I was not to have 'any' type of contact with my 3 children. On top of this, a 'server' came and served me divorce papers. My wife had our one car (which is under my name). I had to walk away with my bag, no car, no place to go. The first hearing, w.r.t. the children, is tomorrow, the 19th of January. I cannot afford a lawyer. I tried to get one pro-bono, but they said the legal adviser at the courthouse said that if I were a woman, I could get help, but as a man, it was nearly impossible in a civil suit. My wife has a number of mental health issues. She is on anti depressants and anti anxiety medications. Furthermore, she has alleged that there has been some impropriety between myself and my daughter. I don't know how to proceed. What will I be asked. Should I challenge my wife on everything? Should I bring up the mental health issues? I don't want the children to be made wards of the state. If I show her to be incompetent, there is no guarantee that her allegations will not have the judge figure it's better to have the children in a foster home, then take the chance that her allegations are true (even though they are not)...I'm a confused and scared to lose my children. Lastly, we moved to a new town about 5 months ago. Our combined income was enough to pay our expenses. However, we do not make enough separately...how will that play out in court w.r.t. custody? John This past Friday evening, I received an ‘Abuse Prevention Order’. Our house was empty, my wife had picked up the kids at school and taken them with her. The police came, gave me the ‘order’, and told me I had to gather a bag, put some personal items into it, and leave the premises immediately. Also, not to go within 100 yards of the house or her workplace. Furthermore, I was not to have ‘any’ type of contact with my 3 children. On top of this, a ‘server’ came and served me divorce papers. My wife had our one car (which is under my name). I had to walk away with my bag, no car, no place to go.
The first hearing, w.r.t. the children, is tomorrow, the 19th of January. I cannot afford a lawyer. I tried to get one pro-bono, but they said the legal adviser at the courthouse said that if I were a woman, I could get help, but as a man, it was nearly impossible in a civil suit.

My wife has a number of mental health issues. She is on anti depressants and anti anxiety medications. Furthermore, she has alleged that there has been some impropriety between myself and my daughter.
I don’t know how to proceed. What will I be asked. Should I challenge my wife on everything? Should I bring up the mental health issues? I don’t want the children to be made wards of the state. If I show her to be incompetent, there is no guarantee that her allegations will not have the judge figure it’s better to have the children in a foster home, then take the chance that her allegations are true (even though they are not)…I’m a confused and scared to lose my children.
Lastly, we moved to a new town about 5 months ago. Our combined income was enough to pay our expenses. However, we do not make enough separately…how will that play out in court w.r.t. custody?

John

]]> By: Cathy http://filefordivorceonline.com/the-custody-battle-what-to-expect/comment-page-1/#comment-110 Cathy Mon, 19 Dec 2011 01:54:39 +0000 http://filefordivorceonline.com/?p=26#comment-110 I have been going through a custody battle with my son's father who refused to return him from a summer stay. After my son being there for over 6 months the courts decided they had jurisdiction because son's father filed for custody stating and signing legal court suit that no other person in any other state by order of any other state had custody of the said child. I have had custody since the father also took me to court in 2002 and was denied any custody, giving me Sole custody due to the father had a past history with the the same court some years before that involved all 3 children being removed from his home, and custody was revoked by him and the childrens paternal mother due to neglect, drug and alcohol abuse and other legal issues with a history of pattern. The oldest child was placed in Charter Hospital and committed suicide while in there care at the age of 12 yrs old. So when he filed for custody against me again, he lied to his attorney, the therapist, the school principal and authorities and also the courts. Not that I have handled everything that has arrived from my son basically being stolen from me and every right even to visit with my son in or out of the state they live in has been something to be proud of...it has not. I have never been so appalled by our legal system and those who play a part in the custody case at present. A father who after 10 yrs of having nor taking any responsibility to his son gets a chance to be there for his son at an age that he really needs his father...fails him by doing anything and everything to destroy the bond and relationship that my son and I have had since before his birth. The fear, the confusion, the fact he has no idea who to believe and trust. The verbal assasination placed on my character and person let alone the things my son has been told just to place distance and dislike upon our son. He has been forced to deny his feelings for me, show them, tell me anything for fear its something he has been told not to say or he will face punishment. His father and his girlfriend are daily drinkers and my son has been in 3 car accts this year although minor, his father refused to take him to been checked out after being pretty roughed up after one of those accidents. Their idea of disipline is to shove a bar of soap in his mouth, with hot sauce and whipped with a belt. Not allowed to speak with me or any family on the phone either. All our calls are on speaker phone and we are given no private time at all for over a year. He has been told I am homeless, unfit and doing drugs, cant take care of myself, him or even a dog I had to give up and used against me with our son to make him angry and disappointed in me, not giving me the time to tell him about it . I have court in January and I can only hope Justice is served and my son returned to me immediately and actions taken to assure this never happens again to harm our son and his security ever again. U need some resources to let u know your rights and what a court/or parent can do...Uniform Child Custody Jursidiction Enforcement Act. Check it out! You will know what you can do to protect your children and yourself. I have been going through a custody battle with my son’s father who refused to return him from a summer stay. After my son being there for over 6 months the courts decided they had jurisdiction because son’s father filed for custody stating and signing legal court suit that no other person in any other state by order of any other state had custody of the said child. I have had custody since the father also took me to court in 2002 and was denied any custody, giving me Sole custody due to the father had a past history with the the same court some years before that involved all 3 children being removed from his home, and custody was revoked by him and the childrens paternal mother due to neglect, drug and alcohol abuse and other legal issues with a history of pattern. The oldest child was placed in Charter Hospital and committed suicide while in there care at the age of 12 yrs old. So when he filed for custody against me again, he lied to his attorney, the therapist, the school principal and authorities and also the courts. Not that I have handled everything that has arrived from my son basically being stolen from me and every right even to visit with my son in or out of the state they live in has been something to be proud of…it has not. I have never been so appalled by our legal system and those who play a part in the custody case at present. A father who after 10 yrs of having nor taking any responsibility to his son gets a chance to be there for his son at an age that he really needs his father…fails him by doing anything and everything to destroy the bond and relationship that my son and I have had since before his birth. The fear, the confusion, the fact he has no idea who to believe and trust. The verbal assasination placed on my character and person let alone the things my son has been told just to place distance and dislike upon our son. He has been forced to deny his feelings for me, show them, tell me anything for fear its something he has been told not to say or he will face punishment. His father and his girlfriend are daily drinkers and my son has been in 3 car accts this year although minor, his father refused to take him to been checked out after being pretty roughed up after one of those accidents. Their idea of disipline is to shove a bar of soap in his mouth, with hot sauce and whipped with a belt. Not allowed to speak with me or any family on the phone either. All our calls are on speaker phone and we are given no private time at all for over a year. He has been told I am homeless, unfit and doing drugs, cant take care of myself, him or even a dog I had to give up and used against me with our son to make him angry and disappointed in me, not giving me the time to tell him about it . I have court in January and I can only hope Justice is served and my son returned to me immediately and actions taken to assure this never happens again to harm our son and his security ever again. U need some resources to let u know your rights and what a court/or parent can do…Uniform Child Custody Jursidiction Enforcement Act. Check it out! You will know what you can do to protect your children and yourself.

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