The Custody Battle: What to Expect

Fighting for custody of your children is probably going to be one of the most excruciatingly painful aspects of filing for divorce. Many couples argue over this even more than they do about who will get the house, car, kitchen appliances, and business property. You will need to know what to expect when you decide to fight for rights to have your children live with you.One thing that may happen during the custody battle is that your spouse may stir up lies behind your back, and even in front of you. They will tell social workers involved any little piece of dirt they can to make you look bad because they think that desecrating your character will help them gain control of the situation.

It may or may not work, and it doesn’t matter whether or not what that other person says about you is true or whether it is false. They are just out to hurt you because your marriage didn’t work out, and they want to do whatever they can to make sure you don’t get to keep the kids. This is not true all the time, but is true in many cases.

The ironic fact, however, is that the ones who are the least competent are the ones who end up losing the custody battle. The reason why is the courts figure if that person cannot tell the truth, or if they do not demonstrate the ability to take care of a child, all that hot air they speak against you most likely will be for nothing.

This may be an extremely nerve-wrecking time for those of you who know you are capable of taking care of a child. Likewise, you may end up feeling quite a bit of anxiety about the fact that you may have to raise a child completely on your own. However, as long as you know that you can take care of a child you will be more than fair competition against your ex.

The court will decide in the best interest of your children who will be the primary caregiver, and where your child may live. Some useful terms you may want to know when it comes time to fight for custody of your children include the following:

• Custody Petition: This is the act of filing for custody of your children, which is separate from filing for a divorce. You would start this petition either before, during, or after you file for divorce. You can talk to your lawyer about the specifics of filing for the right to have a say in what goes on in your child’s life.
• Hearing: Very similar to a hearing. This is a meeting between two parents and legal representatives who will help decide who will have what rights to the children. If the case is decided in this custody hearing it will not have to go to trial.
• Joint Custody: Many custody cases are decided this way, which means that both parents have the child living with them at different times. Sometimes the child lives with one parent during the week and then with the other on the weekend. Other times the child alternates staying at a child’s house for a week. If one child’s parent lives out of state, however, that child may have to stay at one parent’s house during the school year and at another house during the summer. Usually if both parents are proven to be competent the court usually awards this type of custody. Also, if both parents do not wish to withhold their rights for the other parent to see the child joint custody would be the way to go.
• Partial Custody: One type of custody determines at what times either or both of the parents have legal say in the child’s life, as well as who has physical placement of the child. Partial custody is when that right is divided between two parents.
• Physical Placement: This term is used to describe where the child’s primary home will be. Even though the child lives in the home with one parent the other parent may still be able to arrange visitations and spend time with the child, and even have the child overnight. It all depends upon each individual case.
• Mediation: This word applies to the meeting set up between the parents and a legal representative who will help the parents come to a legal agreement regarding all aspects of child custody. This hope is that two parents can come to an agreement during this time and not have to go to court.
• Physical Placement: This is where the child lives a majority of the time.
• Sole Custody: One parent has total responsibility legally and financially regarding the child’s welfare and that child lives with this parent all the time. The other parent is not involved at all, unless given permission by the parent with total custody, which is called sole custody.
• Trial: A meeting before a judge is sometimes used to decide child custody cases. This meeting is in court and often involves the use of a lawyer. A trial can decide many aspects of child custody, such as how much child support should be paid out and so forth.
• Child Support: A monthly payment which is designated to be sent by one parent to another. Usually the support is paid by the one who sees the child less. This helps offset the expenses the primary caregiver will have to pay in order to feed, clothe, education, and care for that child (or more than one child). Additional payments sometimes are also assigned to the non-custodial parent as well, such as alimony or maintenance. You can ask your lawyer about all of these different payments received by the custodial parent.

Hopefully this article has helped prepare you for the unpleasant necessity of fighting for your child. You can also read other articles pertaining to different topics of divorce in order to learn about the entire process.

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